Last Night I went to church. I walked up through the churchyard, pulled open the large wooden doors and sat at the back. The nave was full, which completely surprised me. I'm not religious, although I wear a crucifix. I was given one by my mum when I first moved to London, it was stolen from my suitcase on a train back to Leeds so I've subsequently replaced it. Also, very surprisingly, I feel a sense of duty to my grandfather. I never had the pleasure of his company except a couple of times when I was about 7 of which I dont really remember, he died when I was about 15 and that has been the only funeral i've been to, but it's had a huge impact on me. My grandfather was a very deep, devout Catholic.
The church itself had fanastic architecture and the atmosphere was serene and mystical. The service was the one for Lent, a rather moving service with some genuinely good advice and politics. Everytime I've graced a church, it always makes me feel something spiritual and in within 10 minutes of being there I can completely see how and why these people devote themselves to an order beyond our understanding.
BUT: I also couldn't help but note that to me, it was all just a fantastic act in a very beautiful theatre.
The service was choreographed and over rehearsed, if I could ever say that! The principal was well trained. Deliverance deserved an Olivier. It was on a stage, they had parcans* for Christ's sake, pun intended. The relevant props were in place, similarly relevant set pieces were on rigs, ready to be flown in when needed. I.E. The font. This is south London, less than 5 mins walk from Arts Ed.** I couldn't help but wonder whether or not the Alter servers and Choristers were all undergraduates? How ever I feel when I'm in a church, whatever the service and however beautiful, I never fail to see past the theatricals. Maybe I'm just ignorant.
I'm never offended by people with such strong faiths, more jealous. I know the Catholic church isn't for me, but I also know that every so often in my life I'll find myself sitting at the back of one asking for forgiveness.
I'm thanking my grandfather for allowing me to be serviced to God, but sadly my Jesus will always be Glenn Carter, my church will always be an actual theatre and my Holy Book will always be Vogue.
This is just an early morning rant, I hope no-one is offended.
* A type of stage light. They're the big ones used at gigs.
** A theatre school trying to re-live 'Fame'. LITERALLY! But thats a whole new rant/blog.
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3 comments:
I think I'm liking your religion, Dean, as my consession to religion is to listen to the JCS soundtrack on Good Friday,but no, no, no, your Jesus cannot be Glenn Carter!
Great blog, btw, and I did find it before Corinne's signpost.
I love the way your mind works at a slightly different angle Dean, it really makes me think about things differently...
Cx
"a fantastic act in a very beautiful theatre"
Just had to quote it because of how much I love the phrase. And I think that what you say is very, very true. And it works the other way around too - I've had quasi-religious experiences in actual theatres. Just thinking of the end of Amy's View when they pour the water on each other - I know I responded in terms laced with religion. Maybe, for me at least, theatre affirms something (or indeed the possibility of nothing) better than a church ever will. Plus I think it's frowned upon to eat ice cream in actual churches.
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