Loves Laydee's Lost

The flowers start to bloom, the birds begin to show themselves and sing much louder than before. Singing songs of joy, rebirth, love. The sun seems to shine brighter. Winter is on its way out. Long gone are the days of tinsel and reindeer socks, and then we hear it. See it. In our faces wherever we look. The words that start rational people on the road to neuroses, 'Valentines Day'.

On the whole people seem and react in a normal manner, but deep inside its utter terror. From the panic of which card to send, of not recieving a card, what present to get, whether to get a present, how many presents to get?? It's mania. I'm laughing at the thought but I remember the terror of not recieving a valentines card, and worse the terror of recieving one I hated! And I'm in a serious relationship, just look at the psychotic annalysis, imagine what its like for singletons everywhere that are already on the verge of a breakdown?!

So, this year I went on a mission.

I was spending the evening not with my Director, but with 2 fantastic, single, girlfriends of mine. The girls were getting together to watch 'The Brit's' music awards and invited me. "Starts at 8pm sharp". "O.K. I'm at work at Flora* all day but finish at 5 so I'll go home and come straight to yours, say 7.30?".
The next day before work I decided with what little cash graced my wallet, as its never any decent amount at the moment, to buy my fantastic laydee's a little thankyou gift for the evening**. I called into a shop that suited my budget and bought a big bag of sweets, ye olde fashioned kind that we had as children, and a bag of chocolate coins. I knew these would go down a treat and be would be appreciated. I was set. But as I headed for the curse of not driving A.K.A. public transport, I passed a bakery, and in the window proudly displayed was 2 heart shapped cookies with red icing. I love my friends dearly and spent the last £1 I had at my disposal for the rest of the week on the gifts of edible love.
Later that day the two laydee's in question payed me a visit to Flora and whilest I had them at my command, in my territory, and on a piece of furniture that i'd managed to make them fall head over heals with, now only to apply this to the actual customers, I presented them with the hearts. The look I recieved was priceless, beyond gratitude. Beyond caring. For that split second I was the only man alive. The only straight man alive.

Bollocks to cards, bollocks to the worry of several gifts. One gift from a person who genuinely cares, who isn't in search for displays of affection on a day thats dictated, one gift that makes you feel like the only person in the world is how everyone should feel. Regardless of status. Someone somewhere will always love you. And the scary but most beautiful thing is that generally, its always someone who''ll surprise you. And more often than not, it's generally your friends.

Partners come and go, but friends are for life.

NOTE: To my darling Director Boy, I feel that this is all still valid as our Valentines Day was the 17th and that I love you beyond the horror of the day and into eternity.
* 'Flora' A.K.A. Laura Ashley
** I'm a gentleman and believe in not turning upto a house empty handed, whatever your budget

Love After Love

The time will come
when, with elation.
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other's welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger that has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another,who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

-Derek Walcott